Happy Easter to Yous!

Just before the school-hosted daddy-daughter date.  I think it's so cool that Goldie's school has this annual tradition.

Papa Lovell couldn't wait to see his son's name updated on the marquis, now saying "Dr. Lovell" instead of the "Mr. Lovell" that it said all last year.  That's one proud papa (and mom, too).

This was one of the coolest volunteer jobs I've ever done at one of my kids' schools!  I wore this giant costume for two whole sweaty hours at the book fair and had fun entertaining the kids.  It was really funny to see the difference between the friendly (and sometimes aggressive) 2nd graders, and the curious but shy and worried kindergarteners.  Tootie had fun telling kids his mom was inside the costume, and kept talking to me through the eye holes (when I was on all fours).  I thought that was funny.

Today was a great field trip with Grandma and Grandpa to our State Capitol!

Today has been a great day!  We're so glad to have our visitors here for Easter weekend.  As they would say here in PA, "Happy Easter to yous!"

Orange Rhino: Letting Go

The Orange Rhino asked: 

Letting go is HARD (that is an understatement) but powerful and oftentimes needed. What can you let go of so that you don’t remain annoyed?

My answer:

      Wow, this is a hard one. I am really not good at letting things go. But since I’ve been successful and am now on day 29 of not yelling, I must have learned to let SOMETHING go! I believe I have let go of having to let my “right” answer be accepted all the time.
       I would like to choose something else to let go of from today on though, so I can be that much more at ease…and I am choosing to let go of dinner.  It was always a major trigger to me when someone would complain about what I fixed. Each person in my family has a list of foods that they don’t like, and no one’s list is the same, it’s almost a guarantee that someone is going to hate what I made. I will let this go. What’s most important to me at dinnertime is that we have a few minutes to be all together, and I would love it if that time was fight-free. SO, I am going to let go of my expectations to please anyone/everyone with my meals. If they like it, fine, if they hate it, whatever, I will not be offended. I will just do my best, enjoy the other 5 bodies around the table, and realize that what I’ve done by making their meal is contributing to our future feelings of love and friendship and togetherness as a family. I mean, I will try.
      I believe it will still hurt my feelings to have what I’ve made for them be rejected or frowned upon, but I know it’s the food they dislike, not me or my love.

What about you?

Pictures of Us

I haven't posted pictures for a little while, but I just discovered it's probably because we haven't been taking many pictures lately.  Weird.  I guess we'll try to do some more exciting things so we'll feel inspired to get the camera out more :).  Anyway, here's a little tiny update about nothing in particular.

This was one of my favorite Valentine's Day (15th Anniversary!) surprises--Jeff had his fraternity brothers serenade me Billy Joel's song, "For the Longest Time."  They sounded awesome, I enjoyed it so much!

Here's Shark's model of a cell and all of its innards.  He used candy as his medium (in jello--we put it in the freezer to make it stay solid until it got to school). 

Didi at Pizza Hut.  I love that my kids are still young enough to enjoy the kiddie place mats and crayons at the restaurants.  They're growing so big though!

Here's Goldie with her "Who hair" for Dr. Seuss Day at school.  We couldn't believe it when we were searching and saw  THIS picture of her twin with the same shirt online, so we had to copy her hair. 

I loved being a surprise volunteer Dr. Seuss reader in Tootie's kindergarten class!

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Lastly, I wanted to share with you Didi's exciting news:  She won a poetry contest!!  It was run through the public library here, and there were over a hundred entries.  She was one of 10 winners in her age group.  She will get to read her poem at a reception held in honor of the winners.  We're so proud of her for her ambitions and for developing her talents!

I LOVE TO READ, by Didi Lovell  (6th grade)

I love to read.
That's all there is to it.
It relaxes my life.
I just have to do it!

My escape rope,
is a book.
In a special corner,
my book nook.

Escaping to jungles,
or faraway lands.
Meeting dragons,
or the perfect man.

Reading is helpful,
in everyday life.
I relate to a book,
to avoid strife.

I read nonfiction.
Mystery too!
Fantasy is my favorite.
Tragedies are too blue.

Why shouldn't you read?
Because of dirty hands?
That's no reason not to,
considering all the magical lands!

So you should start reading.
Find a book nook.
You might love it like me!
Why don't you look?

Positive Affirmations

The Orange Rhino group gave me this challenge for Day 10 of my "30 Days to Yelling Less" Challenge:

Day #10's assignment:  Surround yourself with positive reinforcement.  Share your positive affirmations with others.  All day tell yourself positive affirmations:  "I believe I can change.  I know I can do this.  I have the strength to change.  I can use a calm voice."

Here is the post I shared on the group blog:

I too really like Mason’s affirmation, “Inhale: Love is patient. Exhale: Love is kind.” I will try to remember to say that one. Sometimes I feel like I don’t get to pick what sticks in my brain though, and so I just have to go with what sticks–for me, I have an affirmation that is working really well lately. It’s this:

“I don’t yell anymore.”

Another one that has been really motivating for me is one that was suggested in a recent email or post. It’s this one:

“They’re just kids. And I love them.”

It reminds me of a time when I was caught complaining about some people that I associated with–I was bringing up their flaws and criticizing them for being less than perfect. My friend kindly replied to me in their defense, “They’re just people.” I thought that was an awesome sentiment, and a great reason to always give people the benefit of the doubt, rather than kicking them while they’re down. So, thanks for reminding me that forgiveness is a GREAT GREAT thing.

Orange Rhino

 I have discovered a support group for parents that is changing my home for the better.  I'm pretty excited about the changes, so I feel impressed to share, even though it means exposing to the world one of my weaknesses.  I hope there is someone out there that can benefit from my experience. 

These are the bracelets my daughter and I made to remind us to not yell. 

I'm talking about the Orange Rhino group that I discovered, which was started by a mom of four kids who desired to find a way to yell less. 

Here is the story I posted on the Orange Rhino blog in response to the question:  "Describe the incident or moment when you realized you wanted to change."

About a week ago, it was past bedtime.  It was going on 9:30, and we like to have all the kids in their rooms by 8:30.  The little ones were in bed, and the teenager was on the couch doing homework.  I wasn't on his case about it, because he had just come home from an evening church activity.  Yes, he should have had his homework done before going to that, but whatever (motivating the kids to do what they're supposed to when they're supposed to is the challenge of my current existence, and I deal with that only a little at a time, as much as I can).  As it was supposed to be "me" time now, I was working on a project on the computer, and I had very little tolerance for interruptions...less than I would have had if it had been prior to bedtime at least.  He started demanding my attention and my services as "mom the helper".  I helped a little, but not how he wanted.  He kept demanding, I kept refusing.  Then he got disrespectful, and I snapped.  I went from annoyed to frustrated to ANGRY, and I started yelling at the top of my voice.  Dad was upstairs, so in part I was trying to get his attention and wanting him to come intervene.  But I was yelling like a crazy person, and my son was just looking at me like I was wacko.  He started grinning, like I was entertainingly funny with how much I had lost it.  Which of course made me more angry.  I yelled as hard as I could, and it hurt my throat.  I hate that.  I knew I wasn't "winning" anything, I wasn't accomplishing anything, and I wasn't fixing anything.  I knew I was only hurting and embarrassing myself.  I knew it, but I didn't wish to change IN THAT MOMENT.  I wanted to change "tomorrow".  After we had both gone to bed, by my husband's suggestion, I reluctantly went down to tell my son that I knew I had made a mistake, I was sorry, and that I loved him.  He wasn't very receptive, didn't say anything back (just stared straight ahead as I spoke to him, not looking at me).  The next morning, neither of us felt like talking to each other.  Well, in that blow-out day's "tomorrow", I stumbled upon the Orange Rhino challenge, and I believe I was led there by divine intervention.  Or fate, or coincidence, whatever--but I was super excited and grateful for the happenstance.  I am so excited to never have to succumb to that kind of embarrassment and pointless ridiculous behavior anymore.  I will have better choices than yelling available in my brain, and I will choose them.  Can't wait.
So anyway...I found this group just by chance on facebook JUST at the PERFECT time for me.  I was so excited :). 

One thing I love about the group is the expectations are super realistic, and no one is asking me to be perfect right away, or ever.  It's just basically a support group for people who want to yell LESS. 

The leader of the group, a mother of four who started it just over a year ago, wanted to see if she could go 365 days without yelling, and she did!  She is funny and cool to me because she likes to talk now about all of the times she gets super close to yelling, but then chooses not to :).  She's very inspirational. 

She has a 30-day challenge that I joined just in the nick of time (I mean, because she closed "registration" right after I joined (free registration, of course)).  I'm one week into it, and I feel SOOOO much better!!!  I really do yell so super much less--almost not at all now.  It's like a miracle.  I haven't changed my whole house yet, but I've felt a big change in myself.

The cool thing about this 30-day challenge is it isn't just "DON'T YELL FOR 30 DAYS...GO!!!".  It's actually 10 days of PREPARING to yell less (she sends us motivational emails, and helps us recognize our triggers, and helps us find our own alternative ways to improve on how we handled certain situations...we actually track our yelling incidents and then think how we could have done it better), and then 20 days of yelling less, with support from others on the blog and from the group.  We are encouraged to share our successes and our struggles on the blog--which is private to this challenge group.  It has been so cool to read other people's stories, and everyone on the group is just TRYING, not being perfect.  So, anyone would fit right in :)!!

If you would like to give it a shot, I would be happy to start my own little private group with you--I mean, I could send on to you the emails that she is sending me.  I could even share the password to the blog if you'd like to see what others have shared (I'm sure she wouldn't mind, as long as you don't tell her that I let you sneak in ;)...). 

But if you aren't interested in joining a 30-day challenge, no problem :)!  You could still just go to the facebook page "Orange Rhino" and like their page, and see the cool motivational stuff she puts on there every day.  I would recommend it! 

It's been the happiest change to happen to me since I went to counseling :). 

Let me know what you think, okay?