I did a nauty (naughty?) thing today, I left church for a few minutes. I called Corrie at work from the hall phone just to say "hi," in between classes, and she asked me to do her a favor. She asked me to go to her boyfriend Kenny's house (right by the church, the next street over) and bring her some jeans. Church wasn't over yet, but I did. I went over there but no one was home so I drove over to her work (just down the other street) and got the key to Kenny's house, went back and got the jeans, and took them back to her. I couldn't believe it, but just as I was pulling out of there, my car died! I was in sheer panic by now (because Mom and Dad didn't know I had sneaked out) so I went back in to Corrie's work to get some help. Cody Regan (a guy I know from school) and one of his friends pushed my car and it started for me. I went right back to church. Whew--Mom and Dad don't know.
The freedom of driving gave a teenager such as myself ample opportunities to learn responsibility. For the most part, Mom and Dad didn't worry about me with all of my coming and going, because I complied with my evening curfews, and kept them in the know of where and with whom I spent my time. They trusted me, and I was a good kid. Sneaking out of church that day and the feelings of fear and horror that ensued by nearly getting caught reminded me that a life of crime and dishonesty didn't appeal to me.
The one benefit that came out of my misdemeanor was the igniting of sparks between this damsel in distress and her rescuer, Cody. We began to notice each other more and more at school, and I enjoyed running into him almost every time I went to visit Corrie at work, at "Boyce's," where Cody would play pool regularly. With Boyce's being advantageously situated on my route to church, I could easily judge when it was time for me to stop there for a visit based on whether or not his car was there.
Whether it was during our lunch hour, right before or after school, at the basketball games, or at the pool hall, soon Cody and I were spending time together every day. Friends supplied the additional necessary confirmations that he "liked" me. I went back and forth a little bit trying to decide if it was him I liked, or just the comfortable male companionship that he provided. Still, he was genuine and gentlemanly, we laughed a lot together, and I found him modestly attractive. I felt complete and happy when I was around him.
After a couple weeks of constantly seeking one another's company, Cody craved clarification on our relationship.
Journal Entry, 23 February 1991:
What can I say--Cody and I are going out as of tonight. I had so much fun with him tonight. He came and heard me sing with some of the jazz choir members at a cancer benefit at the Eagles' Club. After that I went and played pool with him, that was fun. When we left there we went to the church dance together 'till 10:30, then I took him back to Boyce's. There he asked me, "Are we seeing each other?" I nodded yes, and smiled. And then he asked, "Are we going out?" I shrugged my shoulders and he said, "Do you want to go out with me?" I smiled and nodded again. He gave me a hug--THE END.
Kisses with Cody were very sweet. They started out on my cheek one day, and with time they eventually worked their way to my lips. (This gradual process took about a week.) Kissing was not a big part of our relationship by any means (they were always just for a moment--short and sweet) but it was definitely an endearing part. Usually.
Journal Entry, 6 March 1991:
Cody kissed me as we separated for our classes (just on the cheek this time) before school--and I didn't like it. Partly because there were so many people around--and does he have to kiss me every time we part? I was kind of snobby to him for the rest of the day until after school and I told him why. He said, "So that's why! I'll never do that again." Then he came and visited me at work [in the day care area of the community gym] for a few minutes and he asked me if he could kiss me in front of the kids--I said no. He was disappointed but I was happier.
Cody's father and step-mother, and his grandmother who also lived with them, were friendly and kind, and I enjoyed spending time with them in his home. My family did not see a whole lot of Cody, but I remember my older brother Bryan expressed his approval after Cody joined us and our friends for games one night. It meant a lot to me that my family approved of my boyfriends.
My parents were not as easy to please as my brother, apparently. I wonder if it was by their request that I did invite Cody to join us at church on a few occasions, which he did (he was not a Mormon). Of course I was grateful that Cody would accept that invitation and share in that most important part of my life, even if it was just to be with me, but that wasn't good enough for Mom and Dad. Pretty soon, they started bringing their uneasiness to my attention.
"I'm feeling worried about you, because none of your boyfriends lately have been members of the church," Dad approached me with genuine concern.
"Well just so you know, Dad, I'd marry Scott in a second," I tried to reassure him, even though I didn't assume that was an actual possibility. "I am planning to marry a Mormon, you know." (Leave it up to a young Mormon girl to have clear intentions for her future marriage at age sixteen...or maybe that was just me.)
"You marry whom you date," he announced, with conviction. "You marry whom you date."
My conversation with Dad that morning, coupled with my just having finished reading a Jack Weyland novel (a popular author of Mormon fiction), got me pondering the high standards I had for myself and how much the church meant to me. Mild feelings of guilt gnawed at my mind for remaining Cody's girlfriend, since I knew that I did not see us together long-term. The thought of distancing myself from him for that reason didn't thrill me, but I spent some time considering that choice.
After spending an evening at an activity with exclusively friends from the church, I made a decision. Breaking up with Cody was the right thing to do. So I spoke with Cody. I explained that I needed to end our relationship because more than anything, I wanted to keep my faith as my priority, and to me that meant dating only within the membership of my church. I assured him that there was no one else I was interested in, but I felt this was a change I needed to make.
Cody was unbelievably gracious and understanding. He let me go with no hard feelings, and simple hopes for a continued friendship. He was amazing, despite his discouragement.
I felt good about the break up...for less than a day.
to be continued...
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