My oldest memory of running goes back to eighth grade, when we were required to run the mile for our best time in P.E. I did not love it. I pretty much hated it, but I did my best. One day, I ran as hard as I possibly could, and I broke my record. I was so proud! When I got to my Social Studies class a couple HOURS later, my face was STILL red. My teacher, who also happened to be one of the football coaches, asked me in front of the whole class, "Why is your face all red?" I told him proudly that I had just run the mile, and that I had beaten my best time. "That's great!" he said. "What time did you get?" "8:44," I announced, not feeling the right to brag, but proud enough that I was willing to let everyone else hear. At that moment, the entire class busted up laughing. Including my teacher. And that was the end of any confidence that I had gained that day in my ability to ever be a "real" runner.
I don't remember running again until after I got to college. I re-entered the runners' arena only by force, for my Health class. It wasn't all terrible...I found occasions to run with friends now and then, but it was never my most preferred form of exercise. I enjoyed walking and other less-traumatic activities to keep active, so why torture myself?
Years went by, and our family moved to Eugene, Oregon. It didn't take long before I realized where we were: Tracktown, USA. Yes, it's really called that. EVERYBODY and their dog in Eugene is a runner. And their dog's dogs are, too. People there do it for FUN!!! They do it in the rain. They do it in the dark. They do it in the cold. They did it by my house, every stinkin' day, and I just couldn't understand it. WHY? I HATE RUNNING. Running hurts. It makes me breathe really really hard, and that's SOOOOO uncomfortable. There's nothing FUN about it. I did not want to join them and their crazy ways.
But. Pretty soon, I became friends with these crazy runner people. They would talk about running, and they seemed so HAPPY when they talked about it! It didn't make any sense, but they were making me start to wonder. Not only that, but their enthusiasm started to rub off on me.
One day, some women from church decided to start an exercise group. A walking/running group that would meet three times a week at one of the trails near our house. One perk: the husband of one of the ladies was willing to coach us on weekends, and help us better our running skills. (Running skills? What are running skills?) There were community races coming up, and people wanted to get ready :). I was now pregnant with our fourth baby, so I was happy to stick with the walking program at that time. Race day came on the 4th of July, and a HUGE group from our congregation got matching shirts to participate in this race. I was 8 1/2 months pregnant, so my time was not impressive, but I did overhear a little bit of astonishment when some saw me participating "in my condition"--so that was fun. That was my very first race: a 4.5 mile walk (or waddle?). Crossing the finish line with the community of Eugene gave me a feeling of accomplishment that I knew I'd like to have again someday.
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| (I'm in the red pants. This was taken in 2007.) |
With the high school track right next door to us, I found that meeting with my girlfriends there early in the early morning before Jazz left for school was a convenient workout. With all the girl-time conversation...it was starting to become fun. I started jogging. I wasn't fast, and I still hated the heavy breathing, but becoming "one of them" made me happy :). One more 4th of July came and I was talked into participating in the race again. This time, I jogged it. With help from the same running coach, I worked up to running the whole 4.5 miles. I did it! By the time we left Eugene, I had regained some confidence. Over time, my breathing calmed down, and I was able to work up to running 5 miles, feeling good for the duration.
Now, I run for fun. Can you believe it? But I still hate it, ha ha! I rarely prefer being outdoors to being indoors, but when the summer weather starts getting perfect (between 60 and 75 degrees), that's the one time I can't pass up the sunshine for a run. I won't run in all temperatures, and I don't want to do it all the time. But this summer I have had some awesome experiences. I ran my first OFFICIAL 5K (I actually paid for the registration for my first time), and my son joined me for my second. I've run the distance of a 10K for three summers in a row now (thanks to the goals I set together with my sister), and this summer I did it more than once! Yesterday, I spontaneously reached for what I considered to be the next IMPOSSIBLE "milestone." I completed the distance of a half-marathon--on a whim. I can still hardly believe it myself.
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| Shark and me before the 5K at the Fairgrounds, summer 2013 |
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| I'll never claim to be a model runner, but I'm proud to claim that I AM a runner! |
I still hate running. The other day I was running half-mile loops at the field at the end of our street. Since it's a trail with two big hills each time around the loop, it's tough. At least I think so. Those hills make me out of breath, and sometimes when I'm on them I wonder why I continue to torture myself like that. I laughed when I discovered something that pushed me right up that big hill--as I put one heavy foot in front of the other, I yelled out loud, "I HATE RUNNING!!!" It helped!! I think I'll keep that technique handy to use from now on ;).
Why do I hate running?
-Because it's hard.
-Because it makes me very uncomfortable. Sometimes it even hurts.
-Because 96% of the time, it's NOT fun.
-Because even though I try not to, sometimes I get stuck comparing myself with other runners that will always be faster and better than me. And I feel inferior.
-Did I mention it's really hard? REALLY hard. That's why I drag my feet about even getting out the door.
But, besides the fact that I hate it, I love it. I do. Here's why:
-Because it's HARD, and it always, without fail, makes me feel like shouting to the world, "LOOK WHAT I CAN DO!!!" And, "I DID IT!!!" I just love that feeling of self-worth it gives me.
-Because other people who run AMAZE me, and I like to feel like I'm "one of them" just by trying.
-Because it makes me healthy!
-Because it gives me those magical things called endorphins that pour happiness into my day. I LOVE those things!!! They're like little angels that circle around you all day whispering "You're cool" and "You did good" and all kinds of "build you up" things like that. :)
-Because it makes me physically strong.
-Because it cleanses my emotions as I breathe in and out. I don't know how it happens, but it does. Every time.
-Because as far as workout prep goes, it pretty much doesn't get any easier. Tennis shoes on feet, ready to go. (Oh wait, a good sports bra helps, too ;). ) Once you've got those things, it's FREE. (Three cheers for free!)
- Because I know that even though it's hard, it's not as hard as it would be to be unhealthy, lazy, and unhappy, which is one common alternative. THAT would be hard. We get to pick our battles. I choose the running one :).
-Because running is a mental sport as much as it is a physical sport (if not more so), and I feel PROUD to come out the victor in the mental struggle.
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| Half-marathon. Done!!! |
Oh wait, there's one more thing:
Please feel free to share my story with your friends :). If anything I've said helps someone get their sneakers on, that would make my day! Besides, that would make one more runner out in the world that's there to help motivate me :)!
